Five habits that I developed in my prostitution career I wished I didn’t
March 1, 2022
Have you ever thought about habits that women learn after prostitution? There are so many bad things you just pick up along the way. Needless to say, I wish things had been different, but you can’t change your past. Only learn from it.
I Became a Casual Liar
You won’t encounter many people in prostitution that are proud of it and willing to admit what they do for a living. And I was never one of them. Like many others in this line of business, I started making up different stories as a way to hide what I truly do. And it quickly became a habit.
You know what they say — practice makes perfect. And I was damn good at it. Now that I take a look back, I can see that I started lying about nearly anything because it was so simple. I was able to make up a believable story in an instant to cover up my tracks. Of course, part of it was necessary to hide my identity and protect those around me. But at one point, you start lying as a way to avoid conflicts or because the lie has lived for too long.
Compromising Unnecessary Things
Compromising is good, right? We all need to set our priorities and stick to our decisions. I keep telling myself that it was a necessary thing I had to do to ensure personal growth in this field. And as a prostitute, it meant reaching a point where your decisions start having consequences.
There are many examples of unjustified compromises, but one of the worst ones was having to trade my own body for money. As you are probably aware, selling sex is not the healthiest choice you can make, and it can bring many problems.
And that’s just the beginning. You develop a certain mentality where you will use this to justify any action you make. Well, if I can work as a prostitute, there is no reason why I should do this as well. It creates a domino effect that only helps you sink lower and lower.
I Have the “It Is What It Is” Mindset
Neglect is something that was always a part of my mindset. And it only gets worse with time. You start accepting things as they are, and no matter how bad it is, you just roll over and accept it. Just start thinking, “it is what it is,” and that’s it.
Yes, finding the strength to accept things you cannot change is an excellent skill. But applying this methodology to everything only creates more problems. Moreover, it makes it nearly impossible for you to make the necessary change.
Once you accept that being a prostitute is your life, you won’t be able to find the courage to try something else. The low levels of acceptance were devastating from time to time, and it was one of the main reasons I stayed in business for so long. Now that I think about it, I should have left years ago.
Guilt Tripping and Manipulative Behaviors
Being a prostitute helps you learn a lot of new skills. Manipulation is just one of them. It is a rough world with the survival of the fittest rule. If you don’t focus on getting what you want, you will end up with nothing. And I became an expert in guilt-tripping and manipulating men. It was one of my means.
I don’t consider myself a bad person, and each time I had to manipulate someone to get money left me feeling worse than ever. It is something that leaves a long-lasting foul taste in your mouth. Resources were my words, and it was the way to survive in the harsh environment.
I wish I could have done things differently in the past, but I now know that I can’t change it. I can only learn how to live with things I’ve done.
Self Neglect and Abuse
When you start selling your body, it doesn’t take long before you stop caring about yourself. I was in a dark place where self-neglect and self-abuse were my loyal companions. Needless to say, I didn’t care about what happened to me at the time, and I was more than willing to abuse myself in exchange for money.
One of the first things that hit me was insomnia, and it was closely followed by sexually transmitted diseases. And you can guess where I got those. Once the ship starts sinking, it’s not easy to focus on self-care and even try to find a way to get yourself out of the hellhole you dug all by yourself.
Now I see it.
Those that work as prostitutes are more likely to develop a drug habit. It seems like the only option. Your feelings and thoughts keep trying to find their way out, and the only thing you can do is bury them even deeper.
And the simplest way to achieve that is through drug abuse. Drugs make you become dull. Everything is simpler. You don’t have to feel everything, and I was in a time in my life where all the sexual abuse seemed as if it was happening to someone else.
At the same time, drugs can help you stay through the night. It is one of the simplest ways to continue working no matter what. Sleep was something my body craved for, but my brain was oblivious to my needs.
Finding a way out is never easy, especially if you find yourself in a tough spot. However, it is possible with a lot of hard work and dedication. Don’t give up. Believe it or not, life after prostitution does exist.